To have a greater liking for one alternative over another or others; a preference is ingrained in everything we do as people. We prefer apple juice to orange (as it should be), orange juice with pulp vs. without (heavy on the pulp), waffles to pancakes (wrong), etc. Existing scholarship leads me to believe that our preferences have an evolutionary and biological origin...just think about it. Our higher thinking as humans (thanks cerebrum) allows us to differentiate what we think is better for us based on existing context clues, experience with the item, and other things of the like.
In theory I can understand why people apply that same logic when picking a partner. However, I don't believe it translates 100% well. When it comes to things like physical attributes, I completely get it. Maybe you're not attracted to crooked teeth, maybe you love tall women, or maybe you like a man with a clean beard. And when it comes to personality traits, I can understand that too; we prefer responsible partners over irresponsible ones, emotionally intelligent partners over silent ones, etc and so forth.
That's all fine and dandy.
But what I don't get is ethnic/racial preferences.
You might get away with a preference for certain common physical attributes of those groups (that still makes you weird imo), but overall the concept of applying preferences to people is weird because:
You haven't met everyone.
You haven't met every single person of every existing race to confidently say "I prefer this racial group as the ideal dating subpool". My thing with preferences is that when you really sit down to unpack the mentality behind it, you'd see that there is more of a bias that guides the notion of a "preference". It's just a cover up for racial bias. This in no means makes people racist (well...depends) because we all carry bias all the way down to a subconscious level.
What I'm saying is, racial dating preferences can be a tricky thing. They, more often than not, can be built on stereotypes, experiences, media representation, and interactions we've collected to form opinions about racial groups based on the actions of the few we come across. And I get it, we're human beings and our experiences are often drivers to our current day choices. However, the very notion of preferences has a questionable outlook to it *if* it equates to a preconceived generalization. That maybe all members of a race may act, speak, or think a certain way so that "should" be a justifiable reason to avert that group.
That doesn't sit too well with my mental.
"I prefer asian girls because they're more submissive."
"I prefer black guys because they're good in bed."
"I prefer spanish girls because they're feisty."
"I prefer white girls because they don't complain and appreciate me more."
You see how none of that sounds right? It reduces an individual to the stereotype of the mass, as if we are all not complex creatures with different personalities and stories to tell.
If the reasoning transcends legitimacy (say wanting to find a partner with the same cultural background) then why be so comfortable being exclusive? You could be shorting yourself out of a love so amazing! It's the people that you meet like this that border fetishization...a topic for later.
But say you prefer a race because of their culture. You like and appreciate the elements of what their culture entails, so you want to embrace and to be embraced as an appreciative outsider. That's cool! I think it all comes down to the reasoning. I definitely encourage you to think about why we do the things we do subconsciously. You'll be surprised at what you can learn and unlearn.
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